Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
