Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
