I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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