Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
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Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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