Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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