my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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