I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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