What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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