i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
