what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
