I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
