it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I forget how to act sober
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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