after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
