google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
