my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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