Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
