He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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