i think my tv is drunk
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
