You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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