I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize