Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
