Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
