sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
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I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You ruined the universe
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