That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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