I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize