My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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