next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
