i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
