I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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