we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
