Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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