how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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