i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize