had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
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I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
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My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs