i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.