and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize