then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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