You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
