i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize