At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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