there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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