I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
