I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize