Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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