bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
