He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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