so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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