So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
