The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
