well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
