she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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