But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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