you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
