hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
