I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
