In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think i have herpe
just one?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
