went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
