We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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