I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
